


Fear of Flying

by Nary, pentapus



Category: Books of the Raksura - Martha Wells
Genre: Adopted Children, Court Politics, Families of Choice, Fear of Flying, Includes Art, Inspired by Art, Multi, Negotiations, Parent-Child Relationship, Protectiveness, Separation Anxiety, Treehouse Reversebang, Trust, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-24 20:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1615490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pentapus/pseuds/pentapus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What do they want? Why were they asking about Thorn and Bitter?" he demanded once she was close enough.</p>
<p>Jade gestured for him to lower his voice, and said, "Sunset Water are considering the possibility of an alliance with Indigo Cloud.  It's a good sign," she added, ignoring his scowl.  "It means we're beginning to be accepted here in the Reaches, if they consider us worthwhile allies."</p>
<p>"What kind of alliance, though?" Moon pressed, feeling uneasy.</p>
<p>"One of their daughter-queens had a clutch three turns ago, including two queens..."</p>
<p>She didn't need to finish the sentence - Moon suddenly understood with a sinking horror what they had been discussing.  "You're going to send them away."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear of Flying

**Author's Note:**

> Art by Pentapus, story by Nary.

The official delegation from Sunset Water was more formal than their previous visits. While the first group had consisted of traders, warriors and Arbora only, this time there was a queen, accompanied by her entourage of warriors. Moon knelt, uncomfortable in his best robe and sash and a finely-embroidered cape, towards the back of the hall with Ember while Pearl and Jade made their greetings to the stranger queen, whose name was Coral. Her scales were purple shading to violet at the tips. She was older than Jade but younger than Pearl, Moon guessed by her size, although he was still not an expert at gauging the ages of other Raksura, apart from Stone, who was in his own category of 'really, really old'. The line-grandfather had not made an appearance at the greeting ceremony thus far, but then he wasn't expected to play along with the polite formalities of the courts. Moon wished idly that he was old enough to get away with that.

"Why do you think they're here?" he asked Ember. The young consort looked mildly scandalized that he was talking while the queens were speaking, but Moon kept his voice low and didn't think anyone was paying much attention to them at the moment. It was a nice change, actually, not to have visitors immediately give him odd looks or ask about his background - or worse, try to take him away from Jade. Maybe he was finally starting to blend in and be accepted, respected... Or, more likely, Sunset Water had already heard all about Jade's feral consort and his weird behavior from the traders who had visited them the previous season, and from Zephyr, the Sunset Water queen who had accompanied the emissaries from Emerald Twilight. Just thinking about that visit gave Moon a bad feeling.

"They want to make an alliance," Ember whispered, his lips barely moving. "They wouldn't have sent a queen otherwise." Ember had been born into the Emerald Twilight court, so it was possible he had even met this particular queen before, due to their close ties. 

"What's she like?" he was just about to ask, when something Pearl was saying caught his attention. 

"... two young consorts," she said, and for a moment he thought she was speaking about Ember and him, although he didn't really consider himself young. However, she continued, "...Thorn and Bitter, once of Sky Copper."

"Why does she want to know about the fledglings?" he asked Ember, but the younger consort only shrugged, and Jade shot him a look that told him it was time to be quiet now, before he embarrassed her. Moon settled into an uneasy silence and listened for any more about the youngsters, but it seemed that the conversation had moved on to other matters. At last, Pearl withdrew, taking Ember along with her, and the queen from Sunset Water and her retinue similarly retreated to the guest quarters they had been given. Moon managed to catch Jade's eye and let her know he needed to speak with her before she also departed from the greeting hall.

"What do they want? Why were they asking about Thorn and Bitter?" he demanded once she was close enough.

Jade gestured for him to lower his voice, and said, "Sunset Water are considering the possibility of an alliance with Indigo Cloud. It's a good sign," she added, ignoring his scowl. "It means we're beginning to be accepted here in the Reaches, if they consider us worthwhile allies."

"What kind of alliance, though?" Moon pressed, feeling uneasy.

"One of their daughter-queens had a clutch three turns ago, including two queens..."

She didn't need to finish the sentence - Moon suddenly understood with a sinking horror what they had been discussing. "You're going to send them away."

"Nothing is decided yet," Jade tried to reassure him. "And it's not _me_ who would be sending them away..."

"They're mine," Moon growled, biting back the instinctual urge to shift, to use his strength to protect the youngsters. This was Jade he was talking to, and rationally he knew she wouldn't want to give up the fledglings anymore than she would the ones that she was currently carrying - their first clutch. Trying to speak more calmly, he continued, "They've already lost all the family they knew once before. We can't do that to them again. We _can't_."

Jade took a step back at his tone, and frowned at him. So obviously he had failed at that 'calm' thing. "Moon, you need to settle down. We'll speak about this more when I've had a chance to talk it over with Pearl. Try to remember we're on the same side, all right? And we want what's best for Bitter and Thorn, along with the rest of the court."

Moon nodded sullenly, then left before he said anything else he would regret.

* * *

Jade had told him to calm down, and the best way he knew to do that, short of spending time with her, was to see Chime. That or a visit to the nursery, but he didn't think he could do that just yet, not and keep his temper in check. He found the warrior not too far away - he had been at the large gathering in the greeting hall as well, and had been hanging around as if he might have been waiting for Moon. Moon appreciated that Chime didn't ask him if he was all right, or what was bothering him, but instead just took his hand and squeezed it tight.

"Nothing is decided yet," Chime began, and Moon sighed.

"Jade said the same thing. But... even if this falls through, someone else will come eventually. They're consorts, so they'll probably leave, right? That's how these things work."

Chime shrugged. "It can, but it's not always like that - not always that they leave when they're small, I mean. Ember came to Pearl when he was already grown..."

"Barely," Moon muttered.

Chime continued as if he hadn't heard that. "And sometimes, when there are different bloodlines in the same court, consorts don't leave at all. That hasn't been the case here for a long time, but now..."

That gave Moon pause. "So you mean if Jade and I have queens, then they might be able to stay." Frost had been demanding that they make her a consort for ages, but he hadn't really given it serious thought until it was threatening to become real.

"I can't make any promises, obviously," Chime said. "It's up to Pearl and Jade. An alliance with Sunset Water... that would be very important. And we don't have any other grown consorts to exchange instead. It's an offer that they'll have to at least consider."

Moon frowned again, but the first hot surge of anger had dwindled and now he was just feeling lost and scared. "I want to see them."

Chime knew who he meant, and together they made their way to the nursery. It was mid-afternoon, and the fledglings would probably be settling down for their naps, those who still took them at least, but Moon didn't care. Even if Thorn and Bitter were asleep, he just wanted to be near them, to know they were still safe and still, for however much longer, his.

As it turned out, they weren't asleep - far from it. Frost was in a full-blown rage and keeping all the other children awake. "I'm a queen, I should be there too!" she was screaming, and Rill was struggling just to keep her under control. Bitter and Thorn were perched nearby, half-concealed behind their sleeping basket, watching the display with a mixture of awe and alarm. When they spotted Moon and Chime, the two small consorts promptly hurried to hide behind their legs. 

"I thought I'd take them out for some flying lessons," Moon tried to say, but the teachers were mostly too distracted with Frost's tantrum to pay much attention to him. Weave just shooed him away, and so he and Chime departed, each with one of the fledgling consorts clinging to him.

"We don't have to have a nap?" Thorn asked as they made their way out to the nearest platform.

"You do," Moon told him. "Just later. Things are sort of... mixed up today."

"Because of the stranger queen visiting?" Thorn's eyes were bright with curiosity, and Moon had to look away as he nodded. He felt guilty for not telling them what sort of discussions were probably underway right now about their futures, but it would only upset them needlessly.

Instead, he changed the subject as they stepped out onto the sturdy platform-branch. "Today we're going to play a game," he told them. "Chime and I will fly a little way down and I want you to jump to us." Leaping for a specific target would be good practice for them, and they could use their wings to help slow their fall or change directions. Gently detaching Bitter from his side, Chime gave him a slightly anxious look, but Moon was confident in their abilities to catch the fledglings if anything went wrong.

They all shifted, Chime stepping off the platform first, followed by Moon. It was a relief to be out of his fancy clothes. His wings beating hard against the warm air, he positioned himself a short distance below the branch, looking up at the fledglings. Thorn looked ready to jump, his own little wings outstretched, but Bitter hung back, keeping his folded in. The smaller consort was still scared of flying - the last time he had tried, the Fell had caught him and his clutchmates. "It'll be all right," Moon called to them both, trying to keep himself as steady and still in the air as possible.

Thorn jumped, flapping furiously to try and slow the process as much as possible. He drifted into Chime's outstretched arms as lightly as a falling leaf, grinning with pride. "Good work!" Chime told him, carrying him back up to deposit him on the branch one more. He jumped three more times before Bitter was willing to try it. Thorn whispered to him each time he was carried back, and finally Bitter crept forward, peering over the edge of the branch.

"I promise I'll be here to catch you," Moon told him. 

"Always?" Bitter's voice was so rarely heard, and so quiet, that Moon was startled for a moment. He didn't know how to answer without lying, so he just held out his arms, and Bitter dropped into them. He didn't make much of an effort to fly, just held his wings out stiffly, but it did help to slow him a little, and Moon caught him safely, holding on tight. Bitter's claws were sharp against his scales, holding on for dear life, and his chest was hitching with each breath as Moon flew him back up to the safety of the branch.

"I'm so proud of you," he told Bitter quietly. Thorn and Chime came over as well to see if Bitter was all right. Thorn gave his clutchmate a quick snuggle and then promptly wanted to go back to jumping. Chime and Moon took turns being his target, while the other sat with Bitter, who seemed like he'd had enough for one day. 

Finally, Thorn's jumps were starting to get clumsy to the point where Chime had to fly a wing's span out of his way to catch him. "About time for those naps, I think," the harried warrior suggested, and Moon agreed. They both shifted back to their groundling forms, over vocal protests from Thorn that he wasn't tired, and carried the two fledglings back inside.

* * *

They had only just stepped back into the tree, passing by some Arbora who were working on the glowing lights on the internal wall, when they stopped in their tracks. Coral, the visiting queen from Sunset Water was there, accompanied by two of her warriors. Moon tried to keep himself from bristling automatically, but it was hard to avoid. He only kept himself from shifting by sheer force of will.

"So, these are the fledgling consorts," Coral said, craning her neck to get a better look at them, as they moved to hide behind Moon's legs. "Thorn and ...Bitter, was it? Such a strange name."

"It's short for Bitter Starshell," Thorn piped up bravely. "It's a flower..."

"Ah, of course," Coral interrupted. "You wouldn't rather be called Star, or Shell?"

"No, he's Bitter, I'm Thorn," Thorn corrected her. "And he likes his name." 

Coral chuckled, but with a tone that Moon didn't like. "My apologies, little one." She turned her gaze to Moon. "They're from the same clutch?"

"Yes," Moon said curtly. He had the feeling, based on Chime's anxious glancing around and his own gut instinct, that this conversation shouldn't be happening, or not in this way. Chime looked like he wanted nothing more than to run off and find help, but Moon wasn't going to cede ground on his own territory.

Coral was giving the fledglings an appraising sort of look, as best as she could with Moon firmly between them. He had the sudden suspicion that if he wasn't there, she would have been picking them up and weighing them, maybe looking inside their mouths and peering into their eyes to evaluate their health like groundling traders would do with livestock they were considering purchasing. "He's a little small for his age, isn't he," she said, presumably about Bitter. She was looking down her nose at them with what Moon felt was a faint sneer.

Chime leaned towards Moon. "Do you want me to go get Jade?" he whispered. Moon shook his head. He didn't want Chime to leave him alone with this queen, but he also didn't want to walk away from her. It would seem too much like she was winning, even though he wasn't completely sure what the fight was about. He felt torn between being angry at her for looking down on the fledglings, with her critical questions about their names and their sizes, but at the same time he didn't want her to think they were as perfect as all that, or she might be more inclined to take them away for the baby queens at her court. 

"Bitter's a little smaller than Thorn," he agreed, keeping his tone as neutral as he could. He tried not to say it like it was a bad thing, because he knew the consorts were right there, listening to every word. It was just the truth.

"Flying yet?" she asked casually.

Moon frowned. Had she been watching them as they practiced out on the branch? It had been an important moment for Bitter, and to wonder if she had been sitting there judging the young consort, evaluating him on his skill, made Moon feel like something precious and private between them had been violated. "None of your business," he snapped.

"No, then," one of Coral's warriors muttered to his companion - Moon thought they had been introduced as Reef and Attol, two of her clutchmates, but he didn't remember which was which. "Well, the other one might be worthwhile." Right now Moon didn't care if he was a queen's clutchmate or a first consort or even a line-grandfather. Unable to contain his anger any longer, he growled furiously. He could feel the queen trying to keep him from shifting, but he pushed past that stifling pressure and did it anyway. He was vaguely aware that the Arbora had cleared the area some time ago, that even Chime had stepped back from him now, but the two fledglings were still clinging to his legs, which was about all that kept him from launching himself at the warrior.

"They are _both_ worthwhile," he said through gritted teeth, "and you can't have either of them."

Coral gave him a withering look, but her warriors had also shifted when Moon did and were standing closer to her now. Probably they didn't trust a former feral solitary to have the manners or common sense not to attack a visiting queen. Moon wasn't quite that far gone in his protective rage, but he was mainly holding himself back for the sake of Bitter and Thorn. While Frost would no doubt have thought that a fight between Moon and Coral and her warriors was thrilling, the consorts tended to be a little less bloodthirsty, and he didn't want to scare them, or set a bad example for them. Instead he just stood there glowering, daring her to make a move, hoping she might turn and flounce off. The air felt thick with tension and Moon didn't know how long the situation could possibly continue without someone snapping. 

"Come on, Moon," Chime whispered. He had crept back close to him, and was tugging on his arm. "Let's just go..."

Moon jerked his arm free, but before he could open his mouth to insist that he wasn't going anywhere, there was a sudden gust of air, stirred by the heavy rush of wings as Jade landed. Her expression was carefully neutral, but her eyes met Moon's and he could tell she was seething on the inside. He hoped it wasn't at him. At least she wasn't forcing him to shift - that would have been awkward. Instead she turned her gaze to Coral. "Were your quarters not to your liking?" she asked with an icy politeness.

"They're perfectly adequate," Coral sniffed. "We merely thought we would like some fresh air, and this was the nearest platform we were able to locate."

"Good," Jade replied, still maintaining a thin veneer of propriety. "Then we won't delay you from your flight any longer." She made a sharp gesture, and Moon scooped up the fledglings and came to her side, Chime hurrying after. Without looking back, Coral swept out the door, followed by Attol and Reef, and Moon finally felt like he was able to breathe again. 

"Chime," Jade said, "take the fledglings back to the nursery. I'm sure it's well past time for them to have a nap."

Chime nodded and gathered the young consorts into his arms. Bitter was reluctant to let go, but he really was getting sleepy, despite the unexpected excitement, and Moon promised to come see them later.

Once Chime had departed, with a final worried glance over his shoulder, Jade turned to Moon. She wasn't as furious as she had been a short while ago, but still upset. "Come with me," she said, but it was a request, not an order. Moon went with her to her bower, fearful of what she might be going to say she and Pearl had decided. Keeping himself quiet and calm on the way there was difficult, but he managed.

"What were you thinking?" she demanded when they were finally alone. "If you're trying to drive her away, it's not going to work."

"I wasn't trying to drive her away," he protested. "She came to us, and then she was asking all sorts of questions about Thorn and Bitter, like she was judging whether they were good enough. I didn't like that."

Jade sighed. "It was rude of her to do that, but she probably thought she could get away with it because they're not _our_ clutch." She put her hand over her belly, only very faintly showing a roundness that it hadn't had before.

"They're my clutch," Moon muttered. "I'm supposed to protect them."

"I know," Jade told him. "I know that. They're our family too. But the consorts... even Frost, maybe... someday they'll leave us."

Moon knew that was how things normally worked, but he didn't have to like it. "When they're grown! Not now, not when they're still so little..."

"You're right," Jade said, and he looked up with surprise. He had been so braced for bad news, for her to tell him that one or both of the consorts were going to be sent to Sunset Water to be raised there, that hearing her say she agreed with him made his knees feel like they wanted to give out. "They're too young to go now. Even if we do agree that Sunset Water would be a good home for them eventually - and we're far from settled on that, especially with this latest incident - I told Pearl that I didn't think it would be good for them to leave too early, given all they've been through. And she agreed, Moon, so you can start breathing again," she added with a slight smile.

Moon hadn't realized he'd stopped, and taking a breath made him feel suddenly light-headed. "So they're not going to be sent away?"

"Not until they're ready, which could be many turns from now," she said. "We're considering having them visit with some of the fledglings from Sunset Water, though. It would be good for them to play with others their own age, regardless of future alliances and all of that business. We could take them there for a short stay and see how they get along."

"Better be careful - Frost might get her heart set on some handsome young consort there, and try to carry him off," Moon said, smiling now that he was more relaxed.

"Don't joke," Jade said with a sigh. "I wouldn't be surprised if she did, even if he was twice her size. We'll just have a firm talk about not touching things that don't belong to her."

Moon snuggled up beside her, wrapping his arms around her waist as he nuzzled her shoulder. "Anyway, they'll have others to play with here soon enough, we won't have to take them all the way to Sunset Water every time they want to socialize." He was still thinking about what Chime had said, about how if there were enough different bloodlines in a court, then sometimes consorts didn't leave at all. He didn't want to get his hopes up too far, but letting himself daydream a little wouldn't hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at [naryrising](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/naryrising) if you want to ask questions, make requests, or chat!


End file.
